Mateo asked me whether a contraction was correct or not, today. What do you think? Which of these contractions is gramatically correct?

1. what’re (what are)
2. shan’t (shall not)
3. amn’t (am not)
4. ain’t (am not)
5. mustn’t (must not)
6. shouldn’t've (should not have)
7. wouldn’t've (would not have)
8. you’re (you are)
9. couldn’t've (could not have)
10. who’re (who are)
11. ya’all or ya’ll (you all)
12. won’t (will not)

My answer, at least for those I listed, is yes. To all of them. Some are more common than others.

I got into this conversation briefly yesterday, actually: I like using linguistic play-words in English, things like amn’t which no one uses. (That’s not true: amn’t is pretty Scottish, generally, and also sometimes Irish. “Amn’t I silly?” It’s almost always used as a question. In American English, we generally use “Aren’t I?” and rarely “Am I not?”; “Ain’t I?” would be the slang version.) I like intentionally mis-speaking; I tend to use “ain’t” because I think it’s funny, and I often abbreviate “them” as “‘em,” because I can. (Conversely, I use “ya’all” because I disike that English has no plural second person, and not because it’s fun.)

In English, when I do these things, it comes off in a few ways. With some, it comes off as snooty or stuck-up. With others, it comes off as unlearned. With others, it comes off as nothing at all, except maybe a bit weird.

On the other hand, if I try and do this sort of thing in Spanish, I look like I’m making a mistake. This is completely reasonable — if I mis-use ser instead of estar, it sounds wrong — even if someone who speaks Spanish might do it as a joke. (This isn’t a good example, because I’ve never tried to do this — I just can’t think of a better one.) So, imagine I say “Él es ebrio” instead of “Él está ebrio.” I sound wrong.

Like I said, not the best example, but I find the idea an interesting one.

Music: I’ve been listening to this album by this guy named David Åhlén, called We Sprout in Thy Soil. I’m not sure where I heard about it anymore, but I really like him. Also pretty great? Devendra Banhart’s new album, What Will We Be.